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Friday, November 14, 2008 @9:01 PM

wah! i cant wait anymore. haha. i dont know why i've got this sudden urge to blog a few days ago. oops. exams arent over yet. ): nevermind.

i'm so glad i learnt so much more than just the exam itself during this period of time. yes, things happened and it was hard for me at the start, the fact that it was right before the major exam. perhaps because it's been ages (ok. it's just 6 years difference) since i last took a major examination but it's never too late to learn and to gain the experience.

my dad left for shanghai on my sister's birthday on a school trip. to children whose parents are always flying on business trips, they will probably think it's normal but for a family with no one being away for longer than a week, it is vastly different. ok. maybe it's just me and the way i'm brought up. i was lost, longing for someone to cling onto. now i really appreciate how it feels not to have someone so dear to you not beside you. i cried that night my daddy left. reality was just so harsh to me. no one was going to ride to school with me, wishing me all the best for my day's paper. no one was there for me to call after every single paper to hear my rants. no one was going to me at home giving me all the encouragement. it was just not normal not to have my daddy home beside me.

i was glad i was able to pull out of that fast. the next day, i started persuading myself positively (and because exams was in 2 days time. i need to focus). i should stop being selfish, trying to keep my daddy for myself. i realise i should be glad instead. how often would someone at the age of 50 have the opportunity to travel and to really experience what cannot be experienced when one is on a tour? i feel proud that my daddy has the chance. while yes, there was so much at home that was maintained by him, i was sure my mum, sis and myself would be able to cope. like now, i do enjoy waking up early to make breakfast and to feed the guppies. (: it helps remind me of my daddy too. he calls home every night and it's really amusing to hear what's going on in shanghai, from the hostel food to the weather, to how he keeps his morning wake up time of 5am to do exercise, to bringing the girls to the hospital as they're ill and the funny things he bought like a tv phone. the first time i heard i went huh? but it is interesting. he even went to some place where it's like a mini arcade (i think) and played the game of hitting the crocodiles. he said it was to destress which i doubt he needed. -.- i remember playing that when i was a kid. my dad's a big kid. (: I REALLY CANT WAIT FOR HIM TO BE HOME. I WANNA GIVE MY DADDY A BIG HUG.

sometimes i feel i'm a really spoilt kid who is so reliant on my parents. and i dont want to let go. i miss my daddy so much and yes, i cant wait for him to be home.

lesson learnt: cherish and appreciate having people close to you. you dont want to regret one day when they're really gone.

was talking to my mum the other day about how bad the exam papers were so far (yes, they're disastrous. a whole lot tougher than 2007's). to tell the truth, i never thought i could make it to a uni. i was saying perhaps i should just go to a poly after A's. and then, she started nagging at me to stop thinking about it, to finish the exam and take my break before the results are released, then decide what i would want to do and where to go. i was quite pissed off at first but i realise what she said is true. i need to see the results first which i am 100% sure it would be Cs, Ds and Es. i'm not surprise if i fail. physics and chem papers were average, math was slightly easier than prelims, econs was a zillion times worse than prelims and GP was disastrous as well. I NEED A MIRACLE (which sadly, only cambridge can grant). most of us came out saying let's hope the bell curve shifts/skews by a lot. it's a matter of time. (pray hard. -.-)

went for dental today. it's christmas colours this time! (: red on top, green for the bottom.

my after-exam list:
1) shop for jigsaw puzzles
2) eat buffet!
3) go exercise
4) do up my undone jigsaw puzzles (ok. i love jigsaw puzzles. *hint* dont ask me why. perhaps it flows in the genes. haha.)
5) go out with my dad when he comes home
6) figure out what i want to do in future
7) resume guzheng lessons
8) shop for christmas cards (yes. my yearly routine. look out for one! if i remember to mail you. haha.)
and the list continues.. (:

i've taken a liking in free cell.

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Bao Ru
12th January 1990
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