Tuesday, June 03, 2008 @9:45 PM
i've been in this dilema which is quite retarded. should i use my own gz to play 飞天 on thurs or 不能说的秘密? i like my gz because the base sounds really good when i play 不能说的秘密 but for that, the opportunity cost would be that my 4, 4# and 7 will be out of tune for 飞天 (i sit at different seats for both songs). how?! i need to decide in 48 hours?! ):
i should admit i havent been paying full attention during cca. i kept on thinking about family stuff, that's why i seem as if i dont really care during cca. (kaixin, if you're reading this. i guess that kind of explains my attitude lately.) haiz.. the same question rings in my head. why is it that things have to happen before i learn to appreciate people around me. why?! to realise that it's too late will never help solve the problem. i'm so afraid now but what can i do? what is considered enough when one says we should cherish people around us? how far can we go in cherishing people? and yes, the ans to my friend's question sometime ago is that i'm really afraid losing people really close to me. i guess i'm too emotionally scarred from news about death, illness and problems aggravating health conditions.
how am i going to pull myself out from this state?! i want to scream so loudly. i desperately need to let it out.