first week of school's over and yes. history repeated itself. ): i guess this is the 3rd time so it wouldnt happen again. i shall put in more effort.
i should say i really look forward to the weekend as i made a promise to myself. i can only use the comp on one day of the weekend. it sounds dumb but i guess it's a small motivation for me to do my homework and revision so that i can use the comp as a prize for working hard over the week. (: another thing to look forward to is the sudoku in weekend today's newspaper. gosh. i think i'm addicted.
went sp for the 3rd time yesterday. haha. and i guess there wont be a 4th since as the saying goes after twice there'll be a 3rd one which was yesterday and it usually wont happen again after that. felt really weird doing work in the library though. and thankfully i had my file to cover my t-shirt so people wont know i'm from nj. lol. for that one hour in the library, i thought it was quite productive. managed to finish hypotheis testing assignment as well as read the frst few pages of chem eqm new notes. the only reason i went there was to satisfy my sis' need for bubble tea. -.- wanted to get my gor gor one but then my sis say so troublesome so i didnt ask in the end. sorry gor gor. (to my gor gor: not my fault cos i dunno if you drink bubble tea. haha. but to be nice, i apologise.)
this is a very random post as i just felt like adding a little little life to this blog. i dont care if anyone reads it.
i have this sudden fear last night. i dunno how to describe it but i thought i felt lonely. ):
shall end off with this. read it somewhere. "The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things." -- Henry Ward Beecher. i should say it means a lot to me. i'm still changing my mindset and finding the happiness since i'm feeling a little down.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZABETH!
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY RONGRONG!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY LONG and ZHANG KANG!
this marks my 100-post. wanted to blog a few days ago but was shoo-ed by my sis from her comp. ):
school's starting soon and yes. that's a few more months to A's and i feel so not prepared. ):
to round off the end of my hols, i shall do a final update from my friday the 13th post onwards. friday the 13th wasnt a bad day for me though i was tired. reached home at 11pm+ if i didnt remember wrongly. went out with my parents to ride Singapore Flyer. i should say it's really cool although it's only half and hour. took some pictures though my sis and i felt that that day's pics werent good. cannot find the inspiration i guess. ): pictures of the different colours of the flyer at night can be found from my sis' blog. go find the link. (: i'm too lazy to upload. bought souvenirs too and i should say it's really ex. i bought the Flyer jigsaw puzzle. it's 500 pieces (only) and it's the evening view. shall do after A's. cant wait. (: went for dim sum buffet on fathers' day. nothing much for the weekend i should say. or rather i cant really remember.
went class bbq on mon evening. i guess most of the time i spent was bbqing. celebrated long and zhang kang's bday. it was really funny looking at them playing the kids scissors, paper, stone, the kind where you have to do a big split when you lose. they did it in jacuzzi. after that they played a game called kaching. it's suppose to be like a jackpot machine and they're suppose to do the same actions without communication. apparently it was possible to cheat so we decided that they'll stop when the actions are all different. yea. the actions are kinda silly. poor ernest. got drag in to do it and he's birthday was way over. played bridge with shufang, audrey, bingxin, kim and ernest too. had a great time in general.
tues was cip. although i regretted signing up for it. i should say it wasnt a wrong decision. it was fun. at least now i can say i left NJCOGZ on a good note and i think, now, i can play solo with more confidence. shall go prac some nice songs so that i can play for my parents, aunts and uncles to hear since they like it. that's when i'm bored from studies. as of now, my brain's totally filled with "YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING." shant blog about wed. 家丑不可外扬. yup.
went my gor gors' place yesterday to study. ok. here's my rants. i was pissed off. got told off for wanting to cook at my cousin's place. is that considered playing? ok. maybe i didnt really take into account how long it takes to cook and to clean up the mess which is part of wasting time. so qh and i decided that we'll pack from youshinoya. in the end when we went there, there was no one at the counter serving. we ended up eating bread. ): waited for 854 for so long can and i think we should have alighted one stop before. ok. i shant complain but take it as plain exercise. last thing, i forgot to bring my complex notes. how dumb.
sometimes i think i take what people say too seriously. i mean things that are close to my heart, what i care about, what i've experienced before or what i'm currently going through. maybe i'm just too sensitive. this reminds me of the last day of school in p6. my form teacher stood in front of the whole class and started commenting on each and everyone of us. and yes. she said i'm a very sensitive person. too sensitive i should say.
i broke down last night. went to bed really early and i refuse to get out of bed at 12am when i knew i wouldnt continue to sleep. i fell asleep again after a while. maybe i'm pms-ing. i get tired easily. had a nightmare and i vaguely remember it. something about getting back gp ct paper one and getting a score of 13. DISASTROUS.
that's about it. and i guess that's why i'm afraid of a failing grade. i cannot 对不起自己的良心, 对不起父母+ my sis and 对不起给我很多鼓励的老师, 朋友 and my gor gors. so now i can only think about physics, chem, math, econs and gp. no one wants to fail A's after 2 years in a jc, neither do i.
i heard my wake up call and thought things through. i guess i've found my ans. wont be blogging so often now. i'm sorry for those who visit oftenly. i'll blog once in a while. (:
removed my board and added archives to my old blog. haha. those were the days.
suppose to do synopsis and translations for the songs i'm playing for cip in english. this is killing me! how do you translate 月亮代表我的心 and 路边的野花不要采? argh! now i wish i didnt choose these songs. but i've got no choice! co's playing 高山青, 上海滩 and other songs and they are not traditional co pieces too. haiz. what am i to do!? and it's due hours ago. ): sian.
i feel like sharing pictures today! (:
celebrating silvia's birthday at pitstop cafe. (:concert 2008 pictures:
before practice
during practice
joycelyn and i posing with our 圣旨. haha
the result of being unable to memorise score. need 2 stands some more. haha
co's full dress rehearsal
last min prac after full dress
i shant show the unglam dinner pictures. haha.
may the memories continue to flow.
had sat on saturday. haha. it was. hmm. like that lor. as usual. ): i was so angry i couldnt do one of the math questions. eh. not allowed to say here. haha. other than that nth much that left an impression. met seet at AJC. didnt know she took sat too. haha. sorry seet. couldnt go home with you. ):
went out with my sis and gor gors after that. went to play pool and watch kung fu panda. (: as usual, my pool skills suck. haha. both my gor gors play so well can! no match totally. kung fu panda was funny although it didnt really leave the impact. like what my sis said, i thought the line said by master wu gui was one that's really meaningful. "the past is the history, the future is a mystery and the present is a gift." haha. somehow it makes me think. it kind of motivates me too. (:
got to go eat lunch.
felt like playing o2 jam but i cant seem to connect to the site. grh. and that's not because i'm influenced by my sis, who takes other people's psp to play something similar and up to the extent of playing until there's no battery. so mean. the only reason she doesnt own a psp is because of me. haha. i should say i almost told my mum (who agrees to get her one) to buy her one. omg. thankfully i didnt. sorry gor gor. i know i'm not being helpful.
just wanted to share some gz stuff.
guan1 mo2 hui4
i thought guan1 mo2 hui4 was one successful event. i really appreciate the invitations of associate professor ho, mr phoon and mr lum. i thought their comments for all the various schools' performances were very insightful. in short, the most important parts for ensembles to take note of include accuracy in pitching, namely our 4, 4# and 7; the use of our left hand as a contrast + complement to our right hand's melody and lastly the use of percussion instruments to complement the song. i should say i really learnt a lot from that session though i am very sure most students fell asleep. it made me appreciate the beauty of an ensemble once again and the importance of each and every single person in the ensemble. we need the confidence, more than the skills to portray our music. gosh. i think i'm gonna consider studying chinese music which is something really tough.
another thing about guan1 mo2 hui4 was the talk by master lian rong shi. (and true enough, more people were asleep.) i should say he's a really learnt person about the history of gz and how it has changed over the years into what we see and know as of today. not only that, he also mentioned about the differences in the way chinese music pieces are being composed and expressed by different people from different dynasties in the past. i was totally amazed and i thought that's really interesting. i should say it really takes much effort to really appreciate and to play those pieces well.
concert 2008
as i kept telling my friend, this is an informal concert so i dont really care; i dont care if i dont play well, i dont care if everything doesnt run smoothly. perhaps in the first place i wasnt really in the mood for concert so i kept on thinking things wont run that well. i should say i was quite a loner during all the practices so it makes me want to just finish the concert fast. just get it done and move on. however, nearing the concert itself, i started to feel that maybe it wasnt that bad. it really helped feeling more positive and that explains why i will start to miss going for gz practices. i will miss the juniors although no promises that i'll go back and play if help is required. for once, i should say i really really really love performing, to be on stage sharing my music.
thank you seniors for coming back to support me, namely alina, hanling, huiping, jianyue, vee vee, gwenda, chenye, jia fang, wanxuan, wenying, yuquan. elizabeth too! although you couldnt make it. and others. cant rmb so many people's names. sorry.
thank you to my sis, jerry gor gor and joel gor gor for going too! (: and thanks to joel gor gor for sending my sis and i home. i could have gotten a free ride home. i didnt know jianyue drove to school to watch our concert! ): nvm.
thanks kaixin for the gz scores! (:
that's all for gz stuff.
i've been in this dilema which is quite retarded. should i use my own gz to play 飞天 on thurs or 不能说的秘密? i like my gz because the base sounds really good when i play 不能说的秘密 but for that, the opportunity cost would be that my 4, 4# and 7 will be out of tune for 飞天 (i sit at different seats for both songs). how?! i need to decide in 48 hours?! ):
i should admit i havent been paying full attention during cca. i kept on thinking about family stuff, that's why i seem as if i dont really care during cca. (kaixin, if you're reading this. i guess that kind of explains my attitude lately.) haiz.. the same question rings in my head. why is it that things have to happen before i learn to appreciate people around me. why?! to realise that it's too late will never help solve the problem. i'm so afraid now but what can i do? what is considered enough when one says we should cherish people around us? how far can we go in cherishing people? and yes, the ans to my friend's question sometime ago is that i'm really afraid losing people really close to me. i guess i'm too emotionally scarred from news about death, illness and problems aggravating health conditions.
how am i going to pull myself out from this state?! i want to scream so loudly. i desperately need to let it out.
the last time i wanted to blog in chinese, i gave up halfway. today i shall attempt it again. hope i'll be able to finish the post. my chinese is bad, not that my english is good either but i shall give it a try again.
首先要向支持我的朋友与亲友们说声非常对不起。我知道，或许是因为我还在古筝团的关系，因此你们肯买票回来看演出，为我加油。我万分感激。但是，以今天的彩排，我不敢肯定星期四的演出会是一场很好，有水准的音乐会。这是我第一次看到彩排也会乱到这种地步。我觉得大多数的人根本就不知道到底在发生什么事。我们不是真个乐团吗？我们所谓的最后一次演出就要这样结束吗？
我觉得很对不起师姐及师兄们。这回演出的其中一首曲子是我们曾经弹过的。或许因为这次弹奏《飞天》的朋友们年纪比较小，因此弹不出乐曲的感觉。但有时我却认为那是因为我们当时比较用心地去体会乐曲所要表达的情感，不断的练习曲子，不像现在我们只想把曲子弹完。当时我真的感受到了我们是个古筝团，一个能呈现好音乐的大家庭。这种感觉不再存在了。
我只能说希望懂得华乐的大家不要抱太大的希望去听演奏会。NJCOGZ已承认这不是一场正式的音乐会；NJCO不打领带，NJGZ 不穿 cord shoes, 不需要有同样的 dress code，我只能说我认为这对观众来说是非常不公平与不尊敬的，但我也不能做出改变，也只好认了。
好的开始是成功的一半，我也许再也不会相信这句话了。选择NJCOGZ 或许给了我好的开始，但我却连四分之一的“成功”都感受不到。
期待度过星期四，完成我的诺言，同时从此离开，不再踏入NJCOGZ。对不起，我可爱的学妹们。