Tuesday, July 03, 2007 @4:55 PM
Feel like typing in Chinese because I think I will express myself better but decided against it since the Chinese characters will turn into some funny stuff like what happened to my heading. Need to go change that. ):
Went back to school just for the EXCO interview today. How sad right? Traveled for and hour and a half just to reach school. I thought I was late some more. Sigh. Never to travel during peak periods! You’ll go crazy just by looking at the crowd.
Ok. So I totally gave up on the interview. Long time ago, I would think about what I want out of the interview and I will make sure all that I want to say would be said such that it does not hurt anyone’s feelings but now that I look back and think, I feel that what’s mine will remain mine. If I don’t get it, just let it be. It’s not the end of the world. My mum always tells me that. In the past, I would not believe but years passed and I begin to understand. Why make your life so difficult? That’s not the life you want to live right? Why take in the sorrows and not the happiness and joyful memories?
In my IP days, I broke down twice. I got excused from lessons by one of my teachers (the same teacher for both times) and she let me sit at her desk to cool off and to talk it out. She told me this. What do your parents think? How will they feel if they see that you’re so sad? I know I’m a family person and I care for them more than anything else. That was where I saw the light. I want to bury all my sorrows. There are things that I can’t confide in anyone but it’s good that I can at least vent it out on a blog. The following will be my rants on the interview. This whole entry is not in any organized manner. I just want to throw out my thoughts.
I’ve heard that the current EXCO and the teachers already have the ideal EXCO 2007-2008 members. So in my opinion, the interview does not seem to prove much. Neither will the votes cast. This is a total bias. Sigh. I guess this is the world we live in. how much can we change of this situation?
This year’s list of people running for EXCO is pretty long, ranging from those whom I think really do deserve the place and some who needs to really prove they’re worthy for the position. For myself, I don’t know. It’s for people to judge me I guess. I know by re-running, I’m depriving a chance of others getting the role. So maybe, it’s time for me to pull out now. I’m really having very mixed feelings. I’m not surprise if I end up talking to the teacher in charge to let me drop out.
It’s like an angel devil thing. A minute I feel like dropping out, a minute later, the more I feel I want to be in EXCO so desperately. For example, I mentioned in my application form that there are concerns that went unheard. (I do not wish to say the situation to protect the person’s identity.) Yes. If I’m in EXCO, I would have been able to make that difference and to give up the chance.
Maybe it’s just me. I know I’m the kind of person who wants to share and I’m the kind of person who wants people to be recognized for their effort. We work as a team. We learn to accept the strength and weaknesses of one another and from there we improve as a team. You know, it’s like random error in physics. We can take the average. (: What a lame joke. Ok. Like I say, I don’t stand alone, nor do anyone in an EXCO. We are solely one team.
To tell the truth, I ever thought of running for president. I wanted to head an EXCO that’s ever willing to share, to improve. I once read in a book. It’s not enough for one person to know what’s going on. You have to get the subheads together and to solve the whole situation together. Yes. It applies to an EXCO too. We are one EXCO. We bring CO to a greater height together. Not just the president alone. I guess that’s what I really want—an EXCO that can sit down together 10 years later and to reminiscence, the good memories, how we managed to overcome all the odds to enjoy the fruits. We meet all the targets as we cooperate well and definitely not forgetting gaining the trust of our fellow members. Sometimes, I do feel, it’s the friends that motivate me to come to school. Without them, I really do not know how I’ll pull through. Thanks everyone.
Someone once told me exactly at this point of time after the interview session, one year ago. It doesn’t matter who’s the president. What it matter is the way the CO wants to be run. Only people with the ability to satisfy both the authorities and the cohort should be given the chance to be in the EXCO. And there goes what my point is. It’s the group of people, not the president alone.
There’s a lot more to say which I didn’t talk about during the interview. One thing was the question posted to me if I mind being an SL. To me, it doesn’t make much difference so long as I can still serve my purpose. However, I really DO NOT wish to be one. You can say I’m tired but I don’t wish to explain why. It’s about the selfishness in me.
Ok. I think I’ve ranted a lot. If I can think of anything else, I’ll be writing another entry. There’s too much in my mind. I need to clear it. That’ll be all. (: