Saturday, July 28, 2007 @10:53 AM
my blog's really resting in peace but today i would like to spice it up. (: today's moon's blue. check it out. ok. not funny.
Aurora 8's finally over. all the hard work has been paid off. loads of unhappy stuff happened along the way. i broke down many times but i'm alright now. super fast recovery this time round. no harm going through it to make me be stronger as a person. although i felt i was really going to hate ppl, i guess it's not my nature after all. the friendship ties are still the strongest. life goes on. like i always feel, there'll be someone there for me somehow. i would most like to thank:
qionghui mei
kaixin
shufang
ziyin
enqin
without the few of you, i dont think i would have come out of that complicated stress.
Aurora 8's one of those concert that i felt so good about although i made so many errors. practically every song also have. haha. but i feel good. because i enjoyed sharing the music. and yes, it's definitely from my heart. this is the senior's last concert. although there was no tear shed, i know they're gonna miss all of us and the memory is sealed. this year i didnt prepare anything for anyone. but we took loads of pictures! cant wait for them to upload. (: and to the seniors who graduated. thanks for coming back. for my batch of exco, omg! all of you look so different! we should have a gathering! (: to my nygz juniors: thanks so much for coming! love all of ya! (:
next week will be NJCOGZ alumnite and celebration. the seniors will be steping down. hope i can do something for them by then. one week! of course not to compromise my studies. yup. to the seniors, i really treasure the time spend with all of you. thanks for the encouragement for everything. so glad there's all of you although we may not be very close. to the seniors:
wanxuan
chenye
yuquan
laywang
xiaodan
astrid
wenying
amira
jiafang
jovita
it's time all of you go. all the best for a levels and do visit us. all of you will be missed. thanks so much! love all of you always. let the memories flow. (:
Thursday, July 05, 2007 @11:38 PM
had arts prog today, went for the drama one. didnt really enjoy it but i like the way the actor and actresses express themselves. their skills are good. (:
had university talk after that. went for nus law and ntu arts, social science and humanities. ok. at least i get to know a bit more on how it's like to be in uni and the courses and stuff we can choose. dont really want to think too much now. i've learn to take it one at a time. it's so stressful to kill so many brain cells over it when we should be using them wisely to make sure we get our wonderful A grades first. haiz..
went for a maths prog after lunch. almost fell asleep. i think the teacher saw me. ): it's over. learnt some stuff but i think i wont be able to take H3 maths so.. too bad. ):
Wednesday, July 04, 2007 @11:13 PM
went OCS today. i thought it was quite a good experience besides being fed to the mosquitoes. ): it's great to know that army isnt just about the sad things they complain, such as the food and loads of tough work. haha. i'm so proud that the guys in singapore are all very fit and i mean it seriously. look at all the stuff they have to carry to do the tests! that's not mentioning the other even heavier weapons they use for trainings. it's totally amazing! i think what's more crazy is that they have female combat officers! omg. i think it's insane!
today's the really tiring day. i had to travel from school to OCS, back to school and travel to the pizza hut outlet at jurong east and then back to school again for cca. the problem lies with OCS and the pizza hut outlet being in the same area. man. this is such a waste of time but i cant help it. i cant just wonder off on my own. yea. ok. back to happy stuff.
went to pizza hut with a quarter filled stomach. cos we were told we'll be having lunch there! it's been a long time since i ate at pizza hut. we had the students meal and i think it's of a reasonable price! we have a small pan to ourselves, a soup and a cup of pepsi each. audrey, me and ziyin chose a different flavour each and we shared. so fun right? haha. and as usual, i couldnt finish my food. erm.. not exactly. i didnt finish my drink only. in the end ernest drank about 3/4 of the pepsi which was what i didnt drink in less than a second. it was really fast. the moment i went back to my seat, and he said you sure you dont want the drink, it was gone in his stomach. like a blink of my eye, it's gone. yea. audrey, me and ziyin took a picture! (: ok. i'm lazy to upload. oh and about the kitchen tour itself.. ziyin, audrey and me went together. we had fun playing with the dough! it's so fun trying to make it into a ball shape and trying to spread it out to put on the large pizza pan! (: oh. the kitchen's a bit squeezy in my opinion. uh. haha.
went back to school for cca to understand that ms lim wasnt going. ): no taxi ride home. oops. i'm just too tired from all the travelling and was so looking forward to it cos i'm suppose to be doing maths proj discussion now. see how stressful the life of a student is! yea. ok. so i went back to find so few people turn up for cca. i'm super sad. what happened? with this kind of situation, how can we be in tip-top condition for the upcoming concert in three weeks time? not to mention co.. i'm wondering if they have practices? i realise sometimes i'm even more worried for them. yup. we're a family. i wonder how much they do care about us. you know, i do receive stares from some co people. i dont want to mention who but they just look as if they're staring when i walk pass them, wherever it is. ):
oh. got to know we have 2 new gzs from justin, a fellow co mate. the one whom i'm totally impressed by when he ran for EXCO last yr. hey justin, if you ever come by, it's a complement for you! (: rock on!
back to the topic. yea. so as i told qq, now that i see her, it reminds me of how much i screwed the interview and how much stuff that i didnt say. i thought abt it again on the way home. was also talking about it with kaixin. in the first place, why did i say i want to run for vice-pres (co). that was so wrong in the first place. what i thought was there wont be a vice-pres (gz) so automatically, i will say co, as a whole. which means not only do i care about co, i care about gz too. it's not impossible right? like what liyan mentioned, this is a gd chance to bond co and gz together. yup. i totally agree. since the pres will be someone from co, which i highly think it will, shouldnt it be fair to let someone from gz to be vice pres? it's just an opinion.
another thing. i'm not sure if i mentioned this in my previos entry but another reason why i chose to run for vice-pres is because i know i'll never make a gd pres myself. judging from my own lousy personality and qualities, i think i'm really a bad person. yup. i dont want to elaborate more. yup.
then there was this question on problems faced. i said something about lack of funds. now that i had a quick talk with justin, i realised my ans was a total wrong. we do not not have enough funds. we could pay for so many sets of strings bought in singapore which is a lot more expensive than in china and purchase 2 new gz. wow. but come to think of it, isnt this not fair to co? they need more yangqin too right? heard ms lim helped to get more funds. i'm fine with that but has this got to do with GWH? man. not again. what's wrong with humans. suddenly, i feel gd that the world is changing and human beings are suffering. i know i sound ironic because i'm a human myself but things does not seem to work out in a way that does not hurt others. i dont care if it's physical or mental. some people are just very sensitive, just like me. haiz..
thought about loads of other stuff. no time to share. i need my bed. nights!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALINA! you said i'm a sweet junior and you're a wonderful senior! it's great to know you and thanks for being so concern. i've been missing your batch of seniors! jia you in your future endeavours. i'm here rooting for you! (: i'm so glad you didnt change your hp no. and my no.'s still in you hp! (: haha.
有时候, 真希望大家能够停下脚步, 换焕看待事情的态度及感受周围一切的幸福.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007 @4:55 PM
Feel like typing in Chinese because I think I will express myself better but decided against it since the Chinese characters will turn into some funny stuff like what happened to my heading. Need to go change that. ):
Went back to school just for the EXCO interview today. How sad right? Traveled for and hour and a half just to reach school. I thought I was late some more. Sigh. Never to travel during peak periods! You’ll go crazy just by looking at the crowd.
Ok. So I totally gave up on the interview. Long time ago, I would think about what I want out of the interview and I will make sure all that I want to say would be said such that it does not hurt anyone’s feelings but now that I look back and think, I feel that what’s mine will remain mine. If I don’t get it, just let it be. It’s not the end of the world. My mum always tells me that. In the past, I would not believe but years passed and I begin to understand. Why make your life so difficult? That’s not the life you want to live right? Why take in the sorrows and not the happiness and joyful memories?
In my IP days, I broke down twice. I got excused from lessons by one of my teachers (the same teacher for both times) and she let me sit at her desk to cool off and to talk it out. She told me this. What do your parents think? How will they feel if they see that you’re so sad? I know I’m a family person and I care for them more than anything else. That was where I saw the light. I want to bury all my sorrows. There are things that I can’t confide in anyone but it’s good that I can at least vent it out on a blog. The following will be my rants on the interview. This whole entry is not in any organized manner. I just want to throw out my thoughts.
I’ve heard that the current EXCO and the teachers already have the ideal EXCO 2007-2008 members. So in my opinion, the interview does not seem to prove much. Neither will the votes cast. This is a total bias. Sigh. I guess this is the world we live in. how much can we change of this situation?
This year’s list of people running for EXCO is pretty long, ranging from those whom I think really do deserve the place and some who needs to really prove they’re worthy for the position. For myself, I don’t know. It’s for people to judge me I guess. I know by re-running, I’m depriving a chance of others getting the role. So maybe, it’s time for me to pull out now. I’m really having very mixed feelings. I’m not surprise if I end up talking to the teacher in charge to let me drop out.
It’s like an angel devil thing. A minute I feel like dropping out, a minute later, the more I feel I want to be in EXCO so desperately. For example, I mentioned in my application form that there are concerns that went unheard. (I do not wish to say the situation to protect the person’s identity.) Yes. If I’m in EXCO, I would have been able to make that difference and to give up the chance.
Maybe it’s just me. I know I’m the kind of person who wants to share and I’m the kind of person who wants people to be recognized for their effort. We work as a team. We learn to accept the strength and weaknesses of one another and from there we improve as a team. You know, it’s like random error in physics. We can take the average. (: What a lame joke. Ok. Like I say, I don’t stand alone, nor do anyone in an EXCO. We are solely one team.
To tell the truth, I ever thought of running for president. I wanted to head an EXCO that’s ever willing to share, to improve. I once read in a book. It’s not enough for one person to know what’s going on. You have to get the subheads together and to solve the whole situation together. Yes. It applies to an EXCO too. We are one EXCO. We bring CO to a greater height together. Not just the president alone. I guess that’s what I really want—an EXCO that can sit down together 10 years later and to reminiscence, the good memories, how we managed to overcome all the odds to enjoy the fruits. We meet all the targets as we cooperate well and definitely not forgetting gaining the trust of our fellow members. Sometimes, I do feel, it’s the friends that motivate me to come to school. Without them, I really do not know how I’ll pull through. Thanks everyone.
Someone once told me exactly at this point of time after the interview session, one year ago. It doesn’t matter who’s the president. What it matter is the way the CO wants to be run. Only people with the ability to satisfy both the authorities and the cohort should be given the chance to be in the EXCO. And there goes what my point is. It’s the group of people, not the president alone.
There’s a lot more to say which I didn’t talk about during the interview. One thing was the question posted to me if I mind being an SL. To me, it doesn’t make much difference so long as I can still serve my purpose. However, I really DO NOT wish to be one. You can say I’m tired but I don’t wish to explain why. It’s about the selfishness in me.
Ok. I think I’ve ranted a lot. If I can think of anything else, I’ll be writing another entry. There’s too much in my mind. I need to clear it. That’ll be all. (:
Monday, July 02, 2007 @12:38 AM
had physics SPA on friday. it was the real A-level one. it was bad for me cos i really got so nervous. perhaps because this is the first major SPA exam, so long after my last one which was in sec 2. wow. it's over now. i cant do anything about it so, just work hard for the next one! jia you!
went vilage with ziyin, bingxin and shufang after SPA. reached heeren so early lah! all the shops are not even opened yet. seriously, i think i'm such a deprived child. never go vilage before. or rather, i never even heard of it before. >.< haiz.. nevermind. now i know! (: haha. i think the food there is nice. the quality's gd but the price a bit ex. yea. so we shared some food including calamari, pizza and crepe! bingxin ordered mushroom and cheese while me and ziyin ordered ham and cheese. bingxin's crepe was nice. mine and ziyin's were bad. i think it's the lady who served us. she gave us that i-dont-feel-like-serving-you look. haiz.. after that we just shop around. sf left at 3 for training. we splitted at 4.
reached home around 5+ and my mum complained i never call home. she was quite angry. i guess there goes my chance of going out again. ):
went daiso after nrp on sat. me and qh were mad. after shopping for what i need for my nrp proj, we went to the food section and bought some food cos we were so hungry. haha. there was this drink and i chose black coffee. haha. it was bad. i made the wrong choice. the coffee had no sugar and it was so bitter! made dad and mum drink. should have snap a picture of our faces! haha. had steamboat for dinner. didnt know a food court sells that. (: it was quite nice, better than the restaurant's that we went to see before i decided i didnt want to eat at the restaurant. save money! haha.
i need to sleep. HAPPY YOUTH DAY AND SAF DAY! although it's over a gd 5o min ago. haha.