Monday, September 25, 2006 @9:04 PM
the start of a new week, should have been better for me after breaking down 4 times in 4 consecutive days last week but things arent just what they are suppose to be. i'm really sad. today started well but till after school. wild things start to run through my 'going to burst' mind again. haiz..
i saw one of my used-to-be very close online friend today at the bus stop after school. i mean i do know this person in real, just that we only talk online for that period of time. not that it's a long time since i last saw this person but recently, this person seem to appear at the bus stop at the same time as i do. we never said hi at all. haiz.. we never talk to each other now. i do miss those times when we can actually talk about anything under the sun. ): is the person wondering what's wrong too? or am i the one trying to avoid? is it because i've always been that way? haiz.. why's a friendship so fragile? does salvaging it really help? what can i do? someone once gave me such an advice. 'you have to let someone else know your feelings before this someone else can actually help you. by not saying anything, no one can do anything. there are people around you who are actually once to care more about you.' should i take the step to patch up this hole that's created?
i went to friendster a while ago. apparently, i think my friendster really hates me. it's not showing all the testimonials from my dear gor. it's like only showing the most recent one. i went to check other people's and it works perfectly. nothing is wrong. i went to check my settings but there's nothing there that says anything that can help. i tried the help link and did what it says but to no avail. am i in the point of time where i feel everything is going against me? i have better things to worry about but cant these nitty gritty stuff just spare me some space? !@#$% (this is not vulgarities. i'm just grumbling.) haiz.. what's wrong with things that are going on around me? ok. i'm stressed by loads of stuff but i dont see why i cant handle them when everyone's doing fine! haiz..
ok. back to reality. back to the stack of work on my desk. i shall blog more often after assessment week.
Saturday, September 09, 2006 @9:34 PM
whee! i'm blogging! (: came back one hour ago from siglap CC. had a guzheng performance there. i played jiang(1) jun(1) ling(4).. not my best but this is my third solo and i'm improving greatly. it's the first time i felt satisfaction with myself. given the chance, i do not mind performing again. i'm getting the hang of it! (: for today, at least i didnt disappoint those who went to support me. (: thanks loads gals! (: love you all loads. promos, assessment week, prelims.. everything's drawing nearer. all the best to you all. jia you k. we can make it de. (:
listening to tong hua now from gor's blog. haha. dunno why i feel like crying. haiz.. i'm thinking too much i guess. loads of things just come into my mind! ):
one more day to school reopen. everyone's piahing work. i'm so dead. still working on MI essay now. haiz.. everyone, let's jia you bah. (: we can do it de. (:
Tuesday, September 05, 2006 @12:15 AM
went to watch Click just now. omg, it's the first time that i cried watching a movie can! haha. ok. perhaps you're laughing at me but there's lots of things that came to my mind while watching. it's the people around you that matters. to everyone out there, learn to cherish what you have now or you'll regret. do remember that. (:
now piahing physics.. tmr group work discussion. the thing is i cant find anything and i thought rocket propulsion is relevent when it's not! ): now must go find more info but all i'm doing now is slacking! rah. looking at the pile of work on my desk, i'm really going to die. HCL prelims are getting way too near and sat's concert. i'm totally worried. havent touch guzheng for 2 days already! die. i'm so so dead. ):
went back for physics clinic today, did 3 motion graphs drawing. it was tough but after some practices, i'm getting the hang of it. (:
i shall go back to work. ):
Saturday, September 02, 2006 @11:32 PM
i hereby declare my blog's dead. haiz.. how come ppl can blog so often?!?! i should thank mich for giving me this chance to blog. if not for sending her the j2s CO activities info, i wont be using the comp. thanks mich. lol. anyway, nothing much happened today.. slept at 1+ the previous night and climbed out of bed this morning at around 7.30am. i could have slept more! ): so i did a bit of chem and realize i dunno how to do so many questions. haiz.. looking at the pile of holiday homework, i can just die. how to finish in one week?!?! the good thing is i'm not the only one suffering. haha.
today when lao shi's house for about 2 and a half hours.. the Chang(2) E(2) song was a total disaster for me, laywang played so well although she say she never practise.. haiz.. that means more practises on the guzheng. must really jia you. cannot screw it again. oh. erm.. anyone who happens to chance across, the concert's exactly next week, 9th sept 2006 @ siglap cc. tix is $3 each. concert time: 5pm. thank god i was reminded. i kept on thinking it's 7.30pm. oops. haha. highlights.. hmm.. got very traditional songs and pop songs like yu(4) jian(4). it's really nice. those who play guzheng, can give it a try. i'm sure you'll love it. (:
ate lunch at lao shi's house. thanks loads auntie for cooking. really love the food. (: how i wish i can cook like that. all i know is cooking spaghetti and dumping all the food into a wok and let it boil. ): haha. at least i can survive. lol.
hmm.. while i was having lessons, daddy and qh went to some home team open house. it seems they really had a lot of fun and i missed it. although i'm quite sad but it's great at least they went and i can get to know about the place too. (:
there are lots if things that i want to blog about, especially stuff that i see which reminds me of many things. but i dont have the time! ): anyway, i want to side track a bit.. i'm having constipation!!! how?!?! many good friends have given me advices.. i tried but i'm like forcing feceas out.. and each time when i'm successful, it's the diarrhoea kind. i'm totally afraid. ok. people who read this must be really disgusted.. i'm sorry. it's just that i dont feel right. first it was sensitive skin which took months before it was gone, then, it's rapid peeling of the skin at my heels, then now, it's gastric. it's like i'm never out of sickness. i'm really afraid. i dont wish to be like this. there're loads of stuff that i want to do. i'm really afraid i wont be able to get what i really want to in life. ok. maybe i'm thinking too far but just yesterday when i went daiso, along the way i went pass so many wedding boutiques and i told qh, one of my regrets is: i wont have a chance to be the kid dolled up beautifully in a pure and white dress, who holds a basket full of flowers and blessing the married couple. i'm already having regrets. ): people out there, do really treasure the time you have now and make full use of it. dont wait till you dont have the time and start regretting..
ok. i guess i manage to speak my mind for once. i should go catch some sleep. nights. (: